I lost my Grandmother on Saturday. She was only 79 but she was really sick and frail for the last few years.
Her obituary from the Macomb (MI) Daily read:
Mrs. Munsell, a homemaker for most of her life, retired from the Macomb County Friend of the Court. She was a member of Northside Church in Chesterfield Township.
She is survived by her children, Linda (Will), Martha, Timothy (Linda), Lois (Larry), Mark (Leslie) and Christine (Brian); 20 grandchildren; four great-grandchildren; and one great-great-grandchild.
She was predeceased by her husband, Robert E., in 1984; and sons, Robert J. and Philip J.
A funeral service will be held at 6:30 p.m. Tuesday at Northside Church, 25600 23 Mile Road, Chesterfield Township, with the Rev. Lee Granada officiating. Inurnment will be in Christian Memorial Cultural Center, Rochester Hills.
Visitation is 1:30-6:30 p.m. Tuesday at the church.
Arrangements were directed by Gendernalik Funeral Home, New Baltimore.
Memorial contributions may be addressed to the church.
What does it say about your family when you learn more about your Grandmother from her obit than you ever knew from real life experience or passed down knowledge? *sigh*
This is my first "adult" death. I've been to maybe 1 or 2 funerals since HS - none family - and the handful of family members when I was younger. The last time I saw my Grandmother - and the MI family - was at my Uncle Philip's funeral (mentioned above). I think that was about 1995? I think I was a Soph. in HS. I don't know. It saddens me that I don't know, and even more that my family is so fucked up that I can't/won't/can't ask.
I've talked more to my mother this weekend than I've talked to her all year. Hell, it's been since just before Christmas since I've spoken to her.
I'm sad for the fact that my kid(s) will never meet their Great-grandmother. From what I can remember she was truly a wonderful lady. I don't remember much, but I do have fond memories of White Castle hamburgers, game shows on the TV, and her laughing. Always her laughing.
I'm sad that my Grandmother never got to meet my husband and had a chance to see that he is a great guy, unlike some of the poison that was spread for the first 8 years we were together.
I'm sad that I couldn't make it to Michigan for the funeral, and that it didn't seem to even be a big surprise to anyone.
I'm sad that I am now down to my last grandparent, my paternal Grandmother (and her husband, remarried) , knowing that she herself is in her mid-80s, knowing that her calendar pages are numbered. I hope that I get - and use - the chance that I didn't have with my mother's mother.
RIP Grandma. I'm sorry for every moment I missed and will miss...
Love,
D'Arcey
2 comments:
Aww D'Arcey....I;m sorry for your loss. I don't think you should beat yourself up though. The feelings you are having are very normal and I think that her death is putting things into persective. It often takes something like this to happen to bring families close together. It know it was that way for me when my grandfather died. I hadn't seen or talked to most of my family (cousins, aunts, uncles) in years. Then the first time I saw MOST of them was at the funeral. the sad thing is that they lived pretty much within walking distance from my house. But since then we've found a way to communicate a few times a year (mostly through myspace because they are all in HS) and it's been ok and less awkward. I hope you can find something like this with your mom or MI relatives. Time heals all wounds and this too shall pass. (Can I think of another cliche thing to say? Nope...all tapped out) Just remember that your hubby loves you and so do your best friends. Who needs anything else in life?
D'Arcey, I'm so sorry for your loss.
I too learned more about my grandmother after her death than I learned about her when she was alive. It's kind of a bittersweet ending.
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